Welcome Back!!!!
So today's comes from Confused Girl.
Dear Mahoghany,
So I'm in a sticky situation.
I'm in a relationship with this dude that I really like. He's sweet and kind of looks like a quarterback football player.
I really like him, even love him; but with a perfect relationship, there's always the cons.
He smokes weed and although people say its good, it puts a damper on my mood.
In addition, he has a one year old daughter.
And I totally understand that and I'm kind of okay with that. Though it means that he
wants to settle down with me ASAP.
A part of me wants that but I really want to enjoy my time being young and single live in LA and NYC and build my brand up.
Now the second guy is this Russian guy that I fell in love with, and I'm still in love with him.
He just has issues lying and he disrespected me before but I feel like he's learned his lesson.
Do I take my ex back, or stay with stay with my current boyfriend, though a part of me just wants to date myself and enjoy doing what I want.
What do I do?
Sincerely,
Confused Girl
Dear Confused Girl,
So you're in LOVE!!!!
It's a beautiful but a horrible thing.
Let me clarify: It's beautiful that you are in love.
It's horrible that you are in love with two guys.
From what you told me about the first gentleman, I see a huge technicality: The fact that he is a father already.
That factor right there has a lot that folds into it like:
- Is he there for his daughter?
- Does he deal with his baby mother?
- Are you ready to assert your position in that child's life, not as her mother, but as an adult that she can learn from and grow with?
- If he does deal with his baby mother, are you ready to rumble in the baby mama drama?
If you have answered no to any of these questions, then he's not the person you need to deal with. Especially not long term.
And chances are he wants to build a life ASAP so he can provide for his child and have her in his life; or he thinks you are the ONE, and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Now this Russian gentleman,
There's a reason you aren't with him anymore.
Presumably, it's because you would not allow yourself to be treated the way he was treating you.
Kudos to you for sticking it to the man!!!
But now you want him back.
I will say this much: I'm a firm believer in forgiving and giving someone a second chance.
But there's always that one question in the back of your mind:
He did it once, what makes you think he won't do it again?
So my ultimate opinion is this:
You're young. You're gorgeous. You've got a whole life to live.
Choose yourself.
Enjoy being single and happy.
Squat every day so that milkshake can bring the boys to your yard.
Then mingle with all of them.
Because life is full of choices.
And you deserve to have your pick of the crop.
I hope this gives some insight as to what you should do.
Stay strong,
Mahoghany
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